Self-knowledge: How to know your true personality and why it matters

When it comes to knowing yourself, your own perception of your personality doesn’t necessarily align with that of people around you. But which is more accurate? And can discovering your true nature lead to a better life?

By Daniel Cossins

EVER wondered what other people think of you – I mean, what they really think of you? I consider myself decent company, for instance, even if I know I get a bit vociferous after a few pints of bitter. I like to think I am open-minded and considerate, too, though I recognise I can be dismissive at times. But lately, particularly the morning after a few of those pints, I have become curious about how other people see me.

Let’s be honest: sometimes I wonder if people think I’m more obnoxious than I realise. Because presumably you wouldn’t know. That is partly where the intrigue lies for me. How accurately do we see ourselves? And who is the real you anyway – the person you think you are, or the person other people see?

It isn’t that I am self-obsessed, you understand. I am just intrigued about the extent to which the way people see my personality tallies with the way I view myself. Ultimately, I wonder whether being more aware of these shadowy hinterlands of self-knowledge might make life better – not only for me, but for those who spend time with me. Did I say I wasn’t self-obsessed?

In search of answers, I did what most sensible people tend to avoid: I solicited honest insights into my nature from a dozen friends, family members and colleagues. I asked them to fill out a 60-point questionnaire designed by psychologists to assess personality, and to give the two traits they most associate with me – one positive and one negative. Then I waited nervously for the scales to fall from my eyes.

Personality test …